Can this end?

Recently i don't know wad's happening to myself...

I've been screwing up alot of things... there has been too many distractions in my life...
My so called "friends" doesn't stick with me anymore... they are just mere aquaintance...Just like wad Mr Ikwan said, in one's lifetime, there may be alot of aquaintances. However, One will only have a few which they can call "true friends". Those who pick on your mistakes and help you change them. Those who call you when you are sick to ask whether you are fine. Those who study with you when you ask them to. Those who stick by you no matter how much other people taunt you. Those which would want to stay by you when they see that you're lonely. Those who notice your emotions. Those who CARE.

Currently theres no one out there who is willing to do all this for me... maybe one...but he is also friends with one of my most hated person in the school.


Also CO is starting to get sian... not because im getting bored of my erhu... my erhu= my life so i am never going to get sian of my erhu. It's because im starting to feel that im not needed in vsco. It seems like my existance in vsco is , in layman's term, EXTRA. Its like"vsco can do without me" or even "vsco can do better without me". I bet some of the people reading this are starting to nod their heads in agreement. I simply can't stand this. i feel like i dread going INTO the Co room much less going for practices... Until i get a sign that i may be needed in CO im going to keep this attitude... I will still practice seriously, but just for myself...

I am seriously damn sad now and i know many people can't give a single shit. but yar i need help... seriously...




HELPLESS